Hanging onto hope
by Starza
Summary: Suikoden 3 story. Borus faces rejection hard and gets himself drunk. And someone, who still is holding onto hope, tries to pull him out of his depressed state... Rated for light Shounenai content


Okay, I kinda got this idea from reading someone's fanfic.  *glares*  I'm SO tired of the stupid Borus/Chris/Hugo triangle, so I created something that if people who played Suikoden 1 and 2 before, they would know what's going on.

Borus bashing has gone on enough in these fanfictions.  ~_~  As you know, I absolutely HATE character bashing, and here, Borus gets a LOT of it.  I'm really not a Borus/Chris fan at all.  You're about to find out what couple I DO prefer over them.

I put my damn Yami AND Gravitation fanfics on hold for this story.  .  And this is my first Suikoden 3 story (Most likely, my last).  And of course, it's Shounen-ai.  :P  Very light.  And this couple isn't my favorite couple of the game, but Suikoden 3 is lacking some Shounen-ai content, so I might as well spice things up.  ^_^;;

Warning:  This is a ONE SHOT STORY.  No sequel will be written, it took me a short time to write it, I'm probably not gonna write another one, unless people ask me to.  X_x;;  Be warned of angst, sap, fluff, etc.  X_x;;

Couple:  Percival/Borus (Yes, you heard me!)

Hope you enjoy it!  

Borus sighed to himself and slammed down the small glass and shook his head.  He just didn't understand anything.  No matter how much the same incident kept repeating over and over in his head, the answer was still out of his grasp, and understanding would keep flying out the window.

He looked down at his glass and realized it was empty.  He ordered another drink.  The bartender looked at him, as wanting to say 'I think you had enough, young man', but nothing passed his lips and he refilled the glass and passed it back to knight.  He took another sip of his drink and rested his head.  He promised himself that he wouldn't cry, no matter what happened.  But he couldn't help it.

Chris would never be his…

It was last week when he finally got the nerve to confess to her.  It was a clear night; they were on patrol, a casual conversation between them.  Then the ideas of their future came up.  Borus thought it would be the perfect time to confess how he felt about her.  He told her he loved her and loved her for the longest time, fearing of telling her.  He feared the response, the response in his nightmares…

"I'm sorry Borus…  But I don't feel the same for you…"

And his hope was shattered in that moment.  He brushed it off, telling him that he had to tell her one-day or another, that he was okay, and hoped they could still be friends.  She nodded, unaware of how her simple reply had shattered what slim chance of hope he held in his heart…

A thump down in the chair next to him awoke him from his brooding.  He looked over and groaned softly to himself.  He knew Chris would eventually send someone after him.  But why did it have to be Percival?

"How long are you going to pout?"

He shifted in his chair and took another sip of his drink.  When no answer was fore coming from the question, Percival ordered a drink.  Silence reigned between the two.  Percival took a sip of his drink, his eyes gazing out the window.

"I know what happened, you know."

Silence again.

"If you want to talk about it, I'm more than willing to listen, you know."

Another silence echoed between them.  After what seemed like eternity, did Borus speak up.

"I just want to sleep…"

Percival looked over to the blond knight.

"How much did you drink tonight?"

"I don't know.  Three or four glasses?"

Percival raised an eyebrow and looked at the bartender.

"He had about seven or eight, Sir Percival."  The bartender whispered.  "I tried to stop him before, but he wouldn't listen and just handed me the money.  As long as our costumers have the money…  well, what else can I do?  Especially when that costumer is a knight of Zexen."

Percival nodded and put his glass down.  He offered money to the bartender, who looked at him puzzled.

"My friend will need a room for the night, as it's probable that he won't be able to walk home.  Is this reasonable?"

The bartender nodded and left the counter.  He came back with a key.

"This is the only room we have available.  There's only one bed."

"That will do.  Thank you."

He took the key and looked over at Borus, whose head was slumped on the bar counter.  He sighed and put his arm over his shoulder.  Borus started to protest, but Percival wouldn't have it.

"A good night's rest will do you good.  And I'm not going to be responsible for the hangover you'll have in the morning."

Borus didn't say anything in response, not because Percival might have been right, but because he simply didn't have the energy to reply back to the man.  So he simply let him carry up to the room that he rented.

He felt himself being put down on the bed.  His vision started to blur and he regretted having all those drinks…  How many did he have?  He moaned softly, which caused Percival to smirk.

"Didn't I tell you that drinking yourself sick would do you no good?"

Borus turned his head from the smirking man and grunted.

"How could you possibly know how I feel right now?"

The question was left in the air, unanswered for the time.  Percival closed the curtains of the window and slumped down in his chair.  He placed his heavy armor over in the corner and sat down in the chair, gazing at his companion.

"I do know what it's like though, not telling someone you care about them.  That you would hold so tightly on that slim string of hope, that maybe if you told them, that string would snap, and you would end up with nothing, but broken pieces at the end of the string.  You never tell them for fear of that string being snapped.  There is a chance that they return your feelings back, but the risk is too great to bear, because if that chance fails…"

"Percival, do you…?"

Percival only continued to gaze at Borus.  Borus swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat and felt guilty.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you…"

He smiled.  "Don't worry about it.  Besides, in your condition and situation, I would probably do the same."

Borus removed his armored gloves and threw them over to the corner.  He took off his heavy armor, leaving him in only very light clothes he wore underneath his armor.  He didn't want to wake up feeling sore all over.  There was only one time he slept in his armor.  He was so tired, he didn't feel like taking it off and collapsed in the bed, falling asleep instantly and when he woke up that morning, he promised himself he would never sleep with his armor on again.

He looked up at Percival.  "You didn't have to rent the room."

"Yes, I did.  It would do you no good, for two reasons.  One, I don't think I could carry you in the state your in back to your home.  And two, you need to stop mopping around."

Borus felt the bed sag at the edge of the bed and knew Percival was still looking at him.  He could 'feel' his piercing gaze upon him.

_'Why are you so concerned about me?'_

He didn't realize he said his thought out loud till he felt a hand cup his cheek and looked into Percival's piercing gaze.

"Because this is slowly killing you, Borus.  You need to move on and stop mopping.  Not only that, but you are a danger to the knights as well.  Do you honestly think that if a situation arose up, that you would be ready to battle?"

"I… guess not…  But…"

Percival waited patiently for the answer forthcoming from his friend.

"It's just so hard to stop thinking about it…"

"You do know, Borus, that you can always talk to us.  Maybe not to Chris, but any one of us will listen to you…"

'Especially me…' 

A small gasp from Borus made him realize he said his last thought out loud.  Percival blushed and was grateful for the darkness around them.  Finally, Borus couldn't take it anymore.  The tears, which he had been holding back till now, fell upon his cheeks.  He didn't feel strong arms wrap around him, pulling him into a hug.  The pain he was holding back for so long had decided to run its course right now.  He didn't know how long he sobbed, but he eventually did stop.  He felt a hand run through his blond hair and looked up into Percival's eyes.

"Feel better now?"

"A bit…  I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be.  Everyone needs a cry every now and then."

Silence again echoed between the two yet again for the umpteenth time that night.  It was a long time before he asked his next question and even considered his words carefully.

"Percival, you implied you were in love with someone and never told them…  Why…  I mean…  Who is it…"

A finger pressed against the man's lips, commanding silence.  Percival brushed blond bangs away from the man's eyes.

"Sleep now, Borus.  I'll be here through the night if you need me.  Tomorrow is another day.  I promise you I'll help you through this."

A smile played across Borus' lips before he felt himself being pushed back onto the bed and the covers being placed across him.  His eyes drifted closed as Percival smiled at him, falling into a dreamless, peaceful slumber.

'Yes.  I promise you…  I will help you get through this…  No more tears will stream down your face…  I will always be here for you, Borus…  I will still keep holding onto hope…  One day, I'll tell you…  Not today, but one day…'


End file.
